Cancer, Sin

Tonight, Nell has been quite restless again. Ev and I told Dad to go to bed and we would take the whole night. He is so very tired.

At one point this evening, Ev leaned over and told her mom, "You won't be forgotten. I'm going to tell the grand babies what a wonderful lady you are and how much you love Jesus." Nell smiled.

Though she isn't even taking drinks of water now her body continues to produce bile which has no place to go but up. She cries out in pain and because she is no longer strong enough to help, one of us leans her forward while the other holds the bucket. The smell is atrocious. We lay her back and she cries out because her back hurts. She goes back to shallow breaths followed by an occasional deep one.

Oh the devastating effects of cancer. As I sat watching her tonight my mind turned to another cancer... sin. Rom 5:12  When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam's sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned. (NLT)

Nell is in great pain when she is awake. The medicine keeps her asleep most of the time, but without it she became argumentative to the point of being unreasonable. In other words, she did not understand what we were telling her. She couldn't understand why she couldn't get up and walk or why we wouldn't give her food, even though she would throw up water.

Sin does that to us. It dulls our senses. Mat 13:14  This fulfills the prophecy of Isaiah that says, 'When you hear what I say, you will not understand. When you see what I do, you will not comprehend. 

Mat 13:15  For the hearts of these people are hardened, and their ears cannot hear, and they have closed their eyes—so their eyes cannot see, and their ears cannot hear, and their hearts cannot understand, and they cannot turn to Me and let Me heal them.' (NLT)

And so I proclaim to us (that includes me)

Rom 13:11  This is all the more urgent, for you know how late it is; time is running out. Wake up, for our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. 

Rom 13:12  The night is almost gone; the day of salvation will soon be here. So remove your dark deeds like dirty clothes, and put on the shining armor of right living. 

Rom 13:13  Because we belong to the day, we must live decent lives for all to see. Don't participate in the darkness of wild parties and drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity and immoral living, or in quarreling and jealousy. 

Rom 13:14  Instead, clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. And don't let yourself think about ways to indulge your evil desires. 

Eph 5:12  It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. 

Eph 5:13  But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them, 

Eph 5:14  for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said, "Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light." 

Eph 5:15  So be careful how you live. Don't live like fools, but like those who are wise. 

Eph 5:16  Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. 

Eph 5:17  Don't act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. 

Eph 5:18  Don't be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, 

Eph 5:19  singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. 

Eph 5:20  And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. 

Eph 5:21  And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 

Mom Steffes has lived a life before God and man that spoke of the saving grace of Jesus Christ. She was a preacher of righteousness to her children , verbally (Just ask Evelyn) and to others visually. And now as she lay dying and mostly unaware, she continues to proclaim His righteousness.

We mustn't end with Adam's sin spreading to all, for the story doesn't end there.

Rom 6:23  For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord. Hallelujah!!!

And soon she will gasp one last time and her life here will cease only to begin without pain, vomiting or weariness in the presence of Jesus Christ.

2Co 5:6  So we are always confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord. 

2Co 5:8  Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord. 

Soon, dear sweet Nell, soon.

Hope

We have been voluntarily imprisoned in our home by this terrible disease called cancer. Four weeks ago my mom & dad moved in & hospice became a household name as we are caring for my 65 year old mother who is living out her final days with us. Because of the type of cancer she has we have to have eyes on her 24 hrs due to frequent vomiting.
So tonight, while watching her I looked out the window and saw a beautiful snowfall. I seized the moment, let Steve watch mom and ran outside with camera in hand. In the cool of the wintry night I snapped a few shots of our herbal garden under a blanket of fresh fallen snow and I was refreshed. Amidst the dead of winter, I breathed in the promise of the hope of spring as the ground received moisture to grow what was to come.
Oh God, my Father, in this winter of my life, give the promise of things to come, the hope of things that will grow from this dark time.

--Evelyn C. Sherwood

Breath

And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being. (Genesis 2:7 NKJV)

And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:21-24 NKJV)

The room is filled with the sound of breathing. Mom takes slow shallow breaths followed by a deep gasp. The pump meant to draw fluid from her stomach hisses randomly. The oxygen generator whooshes and sighs. The pump at the end of the bed changes the pressure in the ballasts of the mattress on regular intervals. Occasionally the furnace kicks on to add the sound of rushing air through the house.

For 47 ½ years they have been married. They dated for three years before that. He sits and holds her hand.

"Stay with me," she whispers.

"I will stay with you and go as far in this as the Father let's me go with you. I'll be here to your last breath," he assures.

I've watched him rub her feet, sing her songs and read the scriptures. He has cleaned up her vomit, bathed her and sat for hours holding her hand. He has caressed her brow, rubbed cramps out of her legs and put lotion on her back. He has cried. He has prayed. Her suffering has caused his prayers to change from cries for healing to cries for a final breath. "Send Your angels. Take her to Your eternal rest." 

I have watched love in action. I have watched the effect of that first breath breathed into Adam, for God is Love. (1John 4:8)

Reward

Yesterday started out well. We had met with a nurse on Saturday night who helped us with the feeding tube. Another came in on Sunday morning to help take the tube off for the day time. Mom was feeling pretty good and went into the kitchen with Evelyn while she made breakfast. In fact, she made several laps around the island in the kitchen with her walker. In the afternoon Ev and I went to town and did some shopping. When we returned Ev helped Mom with a shower and that's when things went south. Mom became dizzy and in a very short time lethargic and near despondant. We grabbed her blood pressure cuff and our first reading was 67/35. We called the in-home nurse and found she was on her way for her nightly rounds.

It took about a half hour, but Mom's blood pressure did come back up. The nurse believes it was a combination of doing too much, the heat in the shower and medications. We adjusted the times of medications and gave Mom instructions to do less today. That is very hard for a woman who has been active from sun up to sun down most of her life.

Today she is doing better. She's moving a bit slower and not near as much. She sleeps most of the time and when she does get up she stands there for two minutes to make sure she isn't going to have another big blood pressure drop.

Today's devotions included Psalm 27.

Psa 27:1-14 A psalm of David. The LORD is my light and my salvation—so why should I be afraid? The LORD is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble? (2) When evil people come to devour me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. (3) Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if I am attacked, I will remain confident. (4) The one thing I ask of the LORD—the thing I seek most—is to live in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, delighting in the LORD's perfections and meditating in His Temple. (5) For He will conceal me there when troubles come; He will hide me in His sanctuary. He will place me out of reach on a high rock. (6) Then I will hold my head high above my enemies who surround me. At His sanctuary I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy, singing and praising the LORD with music. (7) Hear me as I pray, O LORD. Be merciful and answer me! (8) My heart has heard You say, "Come and talk with Me." And my heart
responds, "LORD, I am coming." (9) Do not turn Your back on me. Do not reject Your servant in anger. You have always been my helper. Don't leave me now; don't abandon me, O God of my salvation! (10) Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close. (11) Teach me how to live, O LORD. Lead me along the right path, for my enemies are waiting for me. (12) Do not let me fall into their hands. For they accuse me of things I've never done; with every breath they threaten me with violence. (13) Yet I am confident I will see the LORD's goodness while I am here in the land of the living. (14) Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD. (NLT)

I also went to the Lord's prayer today in Matthew 6. It was two of the verses before the actual model prayer that jumped out at me. Mat 6:5-6 "When you pray, don't be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I tell you the truth, that is all the reward they will ever get. (6) But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you."

Did you catch the promise in the midst of this scripture? Father promises to reward those who pray in private. God longs to bless you and wants you to spend time with Him with an air of expectancy. Mat 7:11 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him! (NKJV)

So I challenge me and you today, get alone, pray and then live the day in conversation with your wonderful Heavenly Father expecting to see good things from Him all day, and be thankful. Lastly, join the psalmist.. Yet I am confident I will see the LORD's goodness while I am here in the land of the living. Ps 27:13 (NLT)

That is a living promise. We don't have to wait until Heaven to see the blessing of the Lord. It is ours now.

Be Blessed,
Brother Steve

Home 1st Evening

Evelyn's brother and family made it through the storm. Their power was back on this evening. The house they rent sustained water damage from the roof leaking, but they did not experience any flooding. A tree was uprooted in their front yard.

Nell is tired. Recovery is going to be slow. A nurse came by tonight and helped us with the feeding tube. She also gave some good suggestions and answered several questions for us. We are all pretty tired.

Evelyn and I are going to stay until Thursday or Friday. We so appreciate everyone who is helping out back home.

This passage comes to mind tonight.
Heb 12:1-3 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. (2) We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting Him, He endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now He is seated in the place of honor beside God's throne. (3) Think of all the hostility He endured from sinful people; then you won't become weary and give up.

Ministry in the midst of trial.

God is amazing. He puts you where you need to be when you need to be there. Today I was sitting in one of the waiting rooms at the hospital and a young lady was on her cell phone. Eaves dropping was not an option. It was a small room and she was not attempting to hide what she was sharing over the phone.

Here it is. Her name is Lauren and tomorrow is her wedding day. Her dad, Jim is in the hospital and has been given about 3 weeks to live. They have already paid for a honeymoon, no refund, to Hawaii. As you can imagine she is torn as to what to do.

When she got off the phone I said, "You have a busy day tomorrow." She replied, "No kidding." I asked, "May I pray for you?" She said, "Sure."

So we prayed. Would you pray for her too?

A praise that has come out of this. We asked her if her dad would be able to attend the wedding, and she teared up and said, "One of the nurses here offered to attend the wedding and sit with Dad in case he needed any special care." Wow! Lord, bless that nurse.

Other than the one doctor everyone here at Flower Hospital in Sylvania, Ohio has been wonderful. Praise God for His goodness. May we be found faithful to pray for others.