Sweet Nell, Sweet Rest

Nell Steffes went home to be with the Lord January 14, 2009 at 6:50pm. Suffering has ended, pain is gone, no more tears. Rest, sweet rest.

We had just finished singing some songs around her bed and she breathed her last on this side of God's Heaven. 

Thank you all for your prayers. We will post the funeral plans sometime to tomorrow.

Cancer, Sin

Tonight, Nell has been quite restless again. Ev and I told Dad to go to bed and we would take the whole night. He is so very tired.

At one point this evening, Ev leaned over and told her mom, "You won't be forgotten. I'm going to tell the grand babies what a wonderful lady you are and how much you love Jesus." Nell smiled.

Though she isn't even taking drinks of water now her body continues to produce bile which has no place to go but up. She cries out in pain and because she is no longer strong enough to help, one of us leans her forward while the other holds the bucket. The smell is atrocious. We lay her back and she cries out because her back hurts. She goes back to shallow breaths followed by an occasional deep one.

Oh the devastating effects of cancer. As I sat watching her tonight my mind turned to another cancer... sin. Rom 5:12  When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam's sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned. (NLT)

Nell is in great pain when she is awake. The medicine keeps her asleep most of the time, but without it she became argumentative to the point of being unreasonable. In other words, she did not understand what we were telling her. She couldn't understand why she couldn't get up and walk or why we wouldn't give her food, even though she would throw up water.

Sin does that to us. It dulls our senses. Mat 13:14  This fulfills the prophecy of Isaiah that says, 'When you hear what I say, you will not understand. When you see what I do, you will not comprehend. 

Mat 13:15  For the hearts of these people are hardened, and their ears cannot hear, and they have closed their eyes—so their eyes cannot see, and their ears cannot hear, and their hearts cannot understand, and they cannot turn to Me and let Me heal them.' (NLT)

And so I proclaim to us (that includes me)

Rom 13:11  This is all the more urgent, for you know how late it is; time is running out. Wake up, for our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. 

Rom 13:12  The night is almost gone; the day of salvation will soon be here. So remove your dark deeds like dirty clothes, and put on the shining armor of right living. 

Rom 13:13  Because we belong to the day, we must live decent lives for all to see. Don't participate in the darkness of wild parties and drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity and immoral living, or in quarreling and jealousy. 

Rom 13:14  Instead, clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. And don't let yourself think about ways to indulge your evil desires. 

Eph 5:12  It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. 

Eph 5:13  But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them, 

Eph 5:14  for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said, "Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light." 

Eph 5:15  So be careful how you live. Don't live like fools, but like those who are wise. 

Eph 5:16  Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. 

Eph 5:17  Don't act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. 

Eph 5:18  Don't be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, 

Eph 5:19  singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. 

Eph 5:20  And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. 

Eph 5:21  And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 

Mom Steffes has lived a life before God and man that spoke of the saving grace of Jesus Christ. She was a preacher of righteousness to her children , verbally (Just ask Evelyn) and to others visually. And now as she lay dying and mostly unaware, she continues to proclaim His righteousness.

We mustn't end with Adam's sin spreading to all, for the story doesn't end there.

Rom 6:23  For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord. Hallelujah!!!

And soon she will gasp one last time and her life here will cease only to begin without pain, vomiting or weariness in the presence of Jesus Christ.

2Co 5:6  So we are always confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord. 

2Co 5:8  Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord. 

Soon, dear sweet Nell, soon.

Hope

We have been voluntarily imprisoned in our home by this terrible disease called cancer. Four weeks ago my mom & dad moved in & hospice became a household name as we are caring for my 65 year old mother who is living out her final days with us. Because of the type of cancer she has we have to have eyes on her 24 hrs due to frequent vomiting.
So tonight, while watching her I looked out the window and saw a beautiful snowfall. I seized the moment, let Steve watch mom and ran outside with camera in hand. In the cool of the wintry night I snapped a few shots of our herbal garden under a blanket of fresh fallen snow and I was refreshed. Amidst the dead of winter, I breathed in the promise of the hope of spring as the ground received moisture to grow what was to come.
Oh God, my Father, in this winter of my life, give the promise of things to come, the hope of things that will grow from this dark time.

--Evelyn C. Sherwood

Breath

And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being. (Genesis 2:7 NKJV)

And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:21-24 NKJV)

The room is filled with the sound of breathing. Mom takes slow shallow breaths followed by a deep gasp. The pump meant to draw fluid from her stomach hisses randomly. The oxygen generator whooshes and sighs. The pump at the end of the bed changes the pressure in the ballasts of the mattress on regular intervals. Occasionally the furnace kicks on to add the sound of rushing air through the house.

For 47 ½ years they have been married. They dated for three years before that. He sits and holds her hand.

"Stay with me," she whispers.

"I will stay with you and go as far in this as the Father let's me go with you. I'll be here to your last breath," he assures.

I've watched him rub her feet, sing her songs and read the scriptures. He has cleaned up her vomit, bathed her and sat for hours holding her hand. He has caressed her brow, rubbed cramps out of her legs and put lotion on her back. He has cried. He has prayed. Her suffering has caused his prayers to change from cries for healing to cries for a final breath. "Send Your angels. Take her to Your eternal rest." 

I have watched love in action. I have watched the effect of that first breath breathed into Adam, for God is Love. (1John 4:8)

Final Days

I had the early watch this morning. At six am Nell asked me to rub her back. As I did I felt a small knot on one of her back ribs where she said she felt terrible pain. At eight am the hospice nurse came and I shared my finding with her. She believes the cancer has now spread to Nell's bones and what I was feeling was another tumor.

Nell is requesting we all pray she can go on home to be with her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. She is extremely weak and now when she is awake she is in terrible pain.

Thank you for your prayers.