At one point this evening, Ev leaned over and told her mom, "You won't be forgotten. I'm going to tell the grand babies what a wonderful lady you are and how much you love Jesus." Nell smiled.
Though she isn't even taking drinks of water now her body continues to produce bile which has no place to go but up. She cries out in pain and because she is no longer strong enough to help, one of us leans her forward while the other holds the bucket. The smell is atrocious. We lay her back and she cries out because her back hurts. She goes back to shallow breaths followed by an occasional deep one.
Oh the devastating effects of cancer. As I sat watching her tonight my mind turned to another cancer... sin. Rom 5:12 When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam's sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned. (NLT)
Nell is in great pain when she is awake. The medicine keeps her asleep most of the time, but without it she became argumentative to the point of being unreasonable. In other words, she did not understand what we were telling her. She couldn't understand why she couldn't get up and walk or why we wouldn't give her food, even though she would throw up water.
Sin does that to us. It dulls our senses. Mat 13:14 This fulfills the prophecy of Isaiah that says, 'When you hear what I say, you will not understand. When you see what I do, you will not comprehend.
Mat 13:15 For the hearts of these people are hardened, and their ears cannot hear, and they have closed their eyes—so their eyes cannot see, and their ears cannot hear, and their hearts cannot understand, and they cannot turn to Me and let Me heal them.' (NLT)
And so I proclaim to us (that includes me)
Rom 13:11 This is all the more urgent, for you know how late it is; time is running out. Wake up, for our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed.
Rom 13:12 The night is almost gone; the day of salvation will soon be here. So remove your dark deeds like dirty clothes, and put on the shining armor of right living.
Rom 13:13 Because we belong to the day, we must live decent lives for all to see. Don't participate in the darkness of wild parties and drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity and immoral living, or in quarreling and jealousy.
Rom 13:14 Instead, clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. And don't let yourself think about ways to indulge your evil desires.
Eph 5:12 It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret.
Eph 5:13 But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them,
Eph 5:14 for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said, "Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light."
Eph 5:15 So be careful how you live. Don't live like fools, but like those who are wise.
Eph 5:16 Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.
Eph 5:17 Don't act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.
Eph 5:18 Don't be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit,
Eph 5:19 singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts.
Eph 5:20 And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Eph 5:21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Mom Steffes has lived a life before God and man that spoke of the saving grace of Jesus Christ. She was a preacher of righteousness to her children , verbally (Just ask Evelyn) and to others visually. And now as she lay dying and mostly unaware, she continues to proclaim His righteousness.
We mustn't end with Adam's sin spreading to all, for the story doesn't end there.
Rom 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord. Hallelujah!!!
And soon she will gasp one last time and her life here will cease only to begin without pain, vomiting or weariness in the presence of Jesus Christ.
2Co 5:6 So we are always confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord.
2Co 5:8 Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord.
Soon, dear sweet Nell, soon.
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